RADICAL RESTORATIONS

What comes to mind when you read the title to this post?    Are you searching for answers to understand why you are doing what you are doing?  Maybe you are a loved one of someone who needs help from the bondage of addiction and you are looking for answers to help them.  In his book; Life’s Healing Choices, author John Baker had interesting insight when he made this statement; “Since the beginning of time, men and women have searched for happiness—usually in all the wrong places, trying all the wrong things.”  In your search for happiness, what have you become addicted to?

Almost everyone is addicted to something in their life, caffeine (my wife has a sign in her office that reads; “I don’t have a problem with caffeine, I have a problem without it.”), shopping, smoking, exercise, gambling, work, etc.  For most, these habits don’t cause many troubles.  The trouble, however, starts when the addiction begins to control your life.   You may be addicted, if, when you get up in the morning, it’s the first thing on your mind.  You may be in trouble if it is first in your life before anything else.   You may be an addict if you start to find yourself missing work, family functions, and other significant activities.  You may even get to a point where you will have to have your “fix” before being able to cope with things. 

MAKING A CHOICE TO QUIT

This is particularly true with substance addictions.  It becomes extremely hazardous to yourself and others when you find yourself “using” before work or when driving a vehicle.  If you suspect this is happening to you then you may have already lost control and are caught in an ever widening web of addiction.

What troubles are you dealing with due to your drug abuse?

• Are you or have you been in trouble with the law?
• Are you or have you been absent from school or work due to the use of drugs, alcohol or something else?
• Do you know how much you are actually using?  Be honest for your sake!  Write it down so you can see it on paper.  Or better yet write down how much money you are spending on this habit.
• Are you or have you told lies about your “problem?”
• Are you or have you justified your use of drugs because they are prescribed to you by a Doctor?
• Are you or have you been to more than three different Doctors in the last month to get prescriptions filled?
• Are you or have you taken drugs or alcohol just to fit in and be average?

If you answered yes to any of the items above then it’s time for you to…make a choice to get help!  If you are tired of being sick and tired of all the excuses you give to justify your actions then it is time to quit!  It’s important for you understand that in order to get better you must first have a desire to quit.  This is the area most people fail at in attempting to get sober.  They simply are not ready to quit.  

Secondly, you must make the choice to find the right strategies that will help you in your desire to get better.

Suppose you happen to be one of those select few individuals who feels like your problem is just not that bad.  Or maybe, someone that cares about you is trying to force this upon you.  If either of these are your reasons, or perhaps you have some other lame reason for not wanting to do this, I’m going to ask just one thing from you.  STOP READING THIS BLOG!

 I’m sorry, but I simply cannot help you.  Whatever your reason for using is between you and God and I’m not going to interfere in it.  You have made your choice and I will be here, hopefully, should you ever change your mind.

FINDING YOUR REASON WHY

For those of you that are still reading, great!  I have discovered some simple strategies.  If you will do them consistently they will help you take back control of your life.  But before we get to them I want you to forget about everything you have ever heard about addiction, recovery, drugs or alcohol.  Forget about the advice your Uncle Albert, who’s been in recovery for 27 years and never misses a meeting, has given you.  I’m not going to talk about addictive personalities, genetics, or twelve steps.  All this will do is suffocate your mind with information you will never use and probably don’t care about. 

The most important thing I want you to do right now is focus on the harmful and negative side-effects that these addictions have played out in your life.  As you are thinking about those things I want you to take some time and write them down on a piece of paper.  It’s important that you see what these things are.  Seeing it in writing will drive the point home to you.

I hope that when you see and understand the consequences your negative actions create, it will be somewhat easier to find your “reason why” for quitting.  I say somewhat because this is based on logical thinking.  And right now if you are in the middle of your addictions, let’s face it.  You are thinking anything but logically.  So you may need a little help in this exercise.  It’s okay to have a trusted friend help you.  I would even bet this is the same person that’s always been there for you.  But lately, even they don’t come around as much, do they?

Don’t be tempted to give up at this point when you realize all the damage you may have caused.  That is a normal response.  You wouldn’t think of jumping from an airplane without a parachute, would you? It would most certainly end in tragedy and loss of life. If you can comprehend that last statement then there is some hope for you.  You need to apply this same reasoning to your own life and ask yourself; “Why do I keep using and abusing drugs and alcohol when I know it’s causing me harm and problems in my own life even now?”

STOPPING THE MADNESS

Let me ask you another question.  What goes through your mind when you think about not being able to use or drink ever again?  How does that make you feel?  Don’t just give an answer off the top of your head I want you to really think about it.  In fact why don’t you stop reading and write it down on the same paper you just used to write down the negative and harmful side-effects of addictions.  Take all the time you need.  I’m not going anywhere.

If I was a gambling man I would bet money that you have tried to quit before but something happened.

• Did life become too full of stress without something to help you cope?
• Do you find it hard to function without it?
• Maybe you just simply enjoyed the use of drugs and alcohol?

More than likely you almost certainly know what is needed in order for you to be free from the bondage of addiction but for whatever reason you just can’t do it. That, my friend, is the power of addiction.   It sneaks up on you and steals all of your free will and power.  You and I both know you want to stop the insanity that is called addiction.  But part of you likes the feeling you get from using and partaking of the good times that come with the use of drugs.

All to well you understand the negative feelings you encounter from using and the shame that accompanies it.  And you definitely know the revolting and excruciating cost of what will come to pass if you persist in using.  And only you know, from the core of your being, the unbridled animosity and envy you feel about others that are able to drink and use without consequences of any kind.  You have asked yourself a million, make that a million and one times; “Why can’t I be like them?”  But you fail to see the common factor in all of these declarations is “you.”  If there is going to be a change then; guess what?  You are going to have to something about it.

• You must first see that you are not a victim to this disorder.
• You must understand that there is a way to overcome the powerlessness of addictions and prevail against it.
• You were created with a deep-seated belief in God or something greater than yourself. 
• You are the only one that can turn your life over to that greater power and receive lasting restoration.
• You are the one that must appropriate specific strategies so you can train yourself to overcome these self-defeating prophecies in your life. 

But this will only happen if you can see yourself as someone who is already living a sober, successful life.  It will only stop when you see yourself as God sees you.  So stop calling yourself an; addict, junkie, alcoholic, stoner, crackhead, or whatever self defeating term you may be using.  Start calling yourself what you would like to be; a loving son, caring mother, wonderful husband, or better yet…a child of God!